City University of New York: None.  Guliani won't give us the money for a
new bulb.

----------
> From: endzweig <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Humor for a Hot June
> Date: Tuesday, June 08, 1999 5:23 PM
>
> Might I add:
>
> University of Oregon:  Thought the "hot June" part was the joke...
>
>
> At 05:12 PM 6/8/99 -0400, you wrote:
> >Humor for a hot June:
> >
> >Question:  How many college kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> >
> >
> >Answers (by college/university):
> >
> >University of Chicago:  None.  The market will take  care of it.
> >
> >American University:   Four.  One to make an emergency call to public
> >safety,
> >one to screw it in when public safety doesn't show up, one to write an
> >editorial in the Eagle and the other to explain the process to all the
> >international students.
> >
> >Vanderbilt:  Two.  One to call the electrician and one to call daddy to
pay
> >the bill.
> >
> >Princeton:  Two.  One to mix the martinis and one to call the
electrician.
> >
> >Brown:   Eleven.  One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
> >experience.
> >
> >Dartmouth:  None.  Hanover doesn't have electricity.
> >
> >Cornell:  Two.  One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
> >pressure.
> >
> >Penn:  Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
> >
> >Columbia:  Seventy-six.  One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest
the
> >lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter
protest.
> >
> >Yale:  None.  New Haven looks better in the dark.
> >
> >Harvard:  One.  He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
> >
> >M.I.T.: Five.  One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
> >changing,
> >one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked
> >lightbulb,
> >two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls
the
> >wall switch.
> >
> >Vassar:  Eleven.  One to screw it and ten to support its sexual
orientation.
> >
> >Middlebury:  Five.  One to change the lightbulb and four to find the
perfect
> >J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
> >
> >Stanford:  One.  Dude.
> >
> >Oberlin:  Three.  One to change it and two to figure out how to get high
off
> >the old one.
> >
> >Georgetown:  Four.  One to change it, one to call Congress about their
> >progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.
> >
> >Duke:  A whole frat.  But only one of them is sober enough to get the
bulb
> >out of the socket.
> >
> >Williams:  The whole student body-when you're snowed in, there's nothing
> >else
> >to do.
> >
> >Tufts:  Two.  One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he
did
> >it as well as an Ivy League student.
> >
> >Sarah Lawrence:  Five.  One to change the bulb and four to do an
> >interpretive
> >dance about it.
> >
> >Swarthmore:  Eight.  It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's
> >just
> >that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
> >
> >Boston University:  Four.  One to change the bulb and two to check his
math
> >homework.
> >
> >Wesleyan:  Wesleyan's boycotting GE ...  you know, military-industrial
> >complex and all that.
> >
> >Connecticut College:  Two.  One to change the bulb and one to complain
about
> >how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
> >
> >Virginia: Thirteen.  Ten to form student committee to vote on whether
> >changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the
> >bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute
> >electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
> >
> >Bowdoin:  Three.  One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb,
one
> >to take the chairlift back to school and one to screw in the bulb.
> >
> >Boston College:  Seven.  One to change the light bulb and six to throw a
> >party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
> >
> >Santa Clara University:  One.  But you would never know about it because
> >only
> >Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs.
> >
> >Rutgers:  Four.  One to get the proper paperwork for replacing a bulb,
one
> >to
> >hop on a bus, pay the fee and hand in the  paperwork, one to get the
bulb,
> >one to let the first three into the building because the first three
forgot
> >their slash cards.
> >
> >Franklin Pierce:  Four. One to argue that just because the bulb can't
work
> >anymore doesn't mean it's useless to society.  One to suggest we open a
> >discussion on how to make old bulbs feel useful.  One to suggest we hold
> >class outside today because we have no light.  And one to suggest that
all
> >light bulbs be removed and destroyed after 600 watt hours in order to
keep
> >places in society open for the younger generation of bulbs.
> >
> >University of South Carolina:   Two.  One to screw it in ... and the
other
> >person to explain it to the Clemson student (see no kerosene!!!!).
> >
> >Northern Illinois University: One.  But only until Thursday nights,
because
> >everyone goes home on the weekends.
> >
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____________________________________________________________________________

> ________
>
>   Pamela E. Endzweig
>   Staff Archaeologist/Collections Manager
>   Oregon State Museum of Anthropology/UO Museum of Natural History
>   1224 University of Oregon, Eugene, OR 97403-1224  USA
>   Ph 541-346-5090/5120  Fx 541-346-5122
>   [log in to unmask]
>
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