Humor for a hot June:

Question:  How many college kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Answers (by college/university):

University of Chicago:  None.  The market will take  care of it.

American University:   Four.  One to make an emergency call to public
safety,
one to screw it in when public safety doesn't show up, one to write an
editorial in the Eagle and the other to explain the process to all the
international students.

Vanderbilt:  Two.  One to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay
the bill.

Princeton:  Two.  One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

Brown:   Eleven.  One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
experience.

Dartmouth:  None.  Hanover doesn't have electricity.

Cornell:  Two.  One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
pressure.

Penn:  Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

Columbia:  Seventy-six.  One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the
lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

Yale:  None.  New Haven looks better in the dark.

Harvard:  One.  He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

M.I.T.: Five.  One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
changing,
one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked
lightbulb,
two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the
wall switch.

Vassar:  Eleven.  One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.

Middlebury:  Five.  One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect
J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

Stanford:  One.  Dude.

Oberlin:  Three.  One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off
the old one.

Georgetown:  Four.  One to change it, one to call Congress about their
progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.

Duke:  A whole frat.  But only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb
out of the socket.

Williams:  The whole student body-when you're snowed in, there's nothing
else
to do.

Tufts:  Two.  One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did
it as well as an Ivy League student.

Sarah Lawrence:  Five.  One to change the bulb and four to do an
interpretive
dance about it.

Swarthmore:  Eight.  It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's
just
that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.

Boston University:  Four.  One to change the bulb and two to check his math
homework.

Wesleyan:  Wesleyan's boycotting GE ...  you know, military-industrial
complex and all that.

Connecticut College:  Two.  One to change the bulb and one to complain about
how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.

Virginia: Thirteen.  Ten to form student committee to vote on whether
changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the
bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute
electricity to Mr. Jefferson.

Bowdoin:  Three.  One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one
to take the chairlift back to school and one to screw in the bulb.

Boston College:  Seven.  One to change the light bulb and six to throw a
party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Santa Clara University:  One.  But you would never know about it because
only
Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs.

Rutgers:  Four.  One to get the proper paperwork for replacing a bulb, one
to
hop on a bus, pay the fee and hand in the  paperwork, one to get the bulb,
one to let the first three into the building because the first three forgot
their slash cards.

Franklin Pierce:  Four. One to argue that just because the bulb can't work
anymore doesn't mean it's useless to society.  One to suggest we open a
discussion on how to make old bulbs feel useful.  One to suggest we hold
class outside today because we have no light.  And one to suggest that all
light bulbs be removed and destroyed after 600 watt hours in order to keep
places in society open for the younger generation of bulbs.

University of South Carolina:   Two.  One to screw it in ... and the other
person to explain it to the Clemson student (see no kerosene!!!!).

Northern Illinois University: One.  But only until Thursday nights, because
everyone goes home on the weekends.

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