I guess my first reaction is that you are fortunate that the woman spoke to
you at all, and told you her intent.  That is often not the case‹people just
assume that the museum will be glad to take their stuff, and then probably
will put it all on exhibit forever and ever.  I wish I had a lot more
current information on the property that I know members intend to leave us
in their wills.

You have a couple of options, I guess, and it depends upon what type of
relationship you have with the member and what kind of relationship you want
with them for the rest of their life.  If you value them and want to
continue to have good relations, you try being honest with them‹which you¹ve
already tried, or you can say nothing more and wait for things to play out.
If you really don¹t care about the current relationship, you can tell her
that she is free to leave you the collection in her will, with her stated
restriction, but that you expect the institution will decline the bequest
and the collection will be liquidated as one of the assets of her estate.
This may lead her to reconsider, either allowing you pick of her collection,
with the bulk going somewhere else, or she¹ll work hard to find a museum
that will accede to her wishes.

Just because someone leaves us property in a will does not mean that we have
to accept it‹particularly when it comes with restrictions.  It sounds as if
she may have made overtures to your institution before about her collection,
and she met with some resistance.  Reasoning that you¹d be stuck if she left
it to you in her will, she¹s made her stand.

That is actually good for you.  While the ideal situation would be that she
would leave you the collection as an unrestricted gift, allowing you pick of
the collection, this is probably the next best thing.  Wait until she dies,
and decline the bequest.  Citing policy, precedent, and resources will
probably play a lot better with an estate attorney than it will with your
member.  

In the end, people want what they want, and they often try to find ways to
make it happen according to their wishes.

And it is often difficult for people to understand that no one else values
their collection quite like they do!

Good luck.

Claudia

-- 
Claudia J. Nicholson
Executive Director
North Star Museum of Boy Scouting and Girl Scouting
2640 E. Seventh Avenue
North St. Paul, MN  55109
651-748-2880
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