"As an employer I think it reasonable to ask how an applicant's spouse and/or family might react to moving long distance. "

That would hold true if you were the employer and transferring the employee, perhaps.  But as a prospective employer, I question the appropriateness of knowing the applicant's marital/family status. When I interviewed people, I did not ask about family. I did not look favorably upon candidates that volunteered this information that I considered inappropriate.  When asked as a candidate, I would say that everyone was excited about the possibility, and sometimes I would say that the "everyone" consisted of a mix of four-legged species.

Isn't equal opportunity about hiring the candidate and not their spouse/kids/mother?

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