Might I add:
University of Oregon: Thought the "hot June" part was the joke...
At 05:12 PM 6/8/99 -0400, you wrote:
>Humor for a hot June:
>
>Question: How many college kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
>
>
>Answers (by college/university):
>
>University of Chicago: None. The market will take care of it.
>
>American University: Four. One to make an emergency call to public
>safety,
>one to screw it in when public safety doesn't show up, one to write an
>editorial in the Eagle and the other to explain the process to all the
>international students.
>
>Vanderbilt: Two. One to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay
>the bill.
>
>Princeton: Two. One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
>
>Brown: Eleven. One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
>experience.
>
>Dartmouth: None. Hanover doesn't have electricity.
>
>Cornell: Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
>pressure.
>
>Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
>
>Columbia: Seventy-six. One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the
>lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.
>
>Yale: None. New Haven looks better in the dark.
>
>Harvard: One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
>
>M.I.T.: Five. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
>changing,
>one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked
>lightbulb,
>two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the
>wall switch.
>
>Vassar: Eleven. One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
>
>Middlebury: Five. One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect
>J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
>
>Stanford: One. Dude.
>
>Oberlin: Three. One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off
>the old one.
>
>Georgetown: Four. One to change it, one to call Congress about their
>progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.
>
>Duke: A whole frat. But only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb
>out of the socket.
>
>Williams: The whole student body-when you're snowed in, there's nothing
>else
>to do.
>
>Tufts: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did
>it as well as an Ivy League student.
>
>Sarah Lawrence: Five. One to change the bulb and four to do an
>interpretive
>dance about it.
>
>Swarthmore: Eight. It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's
>just
>that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
>
>Boston University: Four. One to change the bulb and two to check his math
>homework.
>
>Wesleyan: Wesleyan's boycotting GE ... you know, military-industrial
>complex and all that.
>
>Connecticut College: Two. One to change the bulb and one to complain about
>how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
>
>Virginia: Thirteen. Ten to form student committee to vote on whether
>changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the
>bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute
>electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
>
>Bowdoin: Three. One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one
>to take the chairlift back to school and one to screw in the bulb.
>
>Boston College: Seven. One to change the light bulb and six to throw a
>party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
>
>Santa Clara University: One. But you would never know about it because
>only
>Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs.
>
>Rutgers: Four. One to get the proper paperwork for replacing a bulb, one
>to
>hop on a bus, pay the fee and hand in the paperwork, one to get the bulb,
>one to let the first three into the building because the first three forgot
>their slash cards.
>
>Franklin Pierce: Four. One to argue that just because the bulb can't work
>anymore doesn't mean it's useless to society. One to suggest we open a
>discussion on how to make old bulbs feel useful. One to suggest we hold
>class outside today because we have no light. And one to suggest that all
>light bulbs be removed and destroyed after 600 watt hours in order to keep
>places in society open for the younger generation of bulbs.
>
>University of South Carolina: Two. One to screw it in ... and the other
>person to explain it to the Clemson student (see no kerosene!!!!).
>
>Northern Illinois University: One. But only until Thursday nights, because
>everyone goes home on the weekends.
>
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____________________________________________________________________________
________
Pamela E. Endzweig
Staff Archaeologist/Collections Manager
Oregon State Museum of Anthropology/UO Museum of Natural History
1224 University of Oregon, Eugene, OR 97403-1224 USA
Ph 541-346-5090/5120 Fx 541-346-5122
[log in to unmask]
=========================================================
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