Wow, I could use a couple of those!
Mark Janzen
Registrar/Collections Manager
Edwin A. Ulrich Museum of Art
Martin H. Bush Outdoor Sculpture Collection
Wichita State University
(316)978-5850
Nicholas
Burlakoff
<nicholasbu@EARTH To
LINK.NET> [log in to unmask]
Sent by: Museum cc
discussion list
<[log in to unmask] Subject
SE.LSOFT.COM> Job Annoucement
03/19/2004 10:00
AM
Please respond to
Museum discussion
list
<[log in to unmask]
SE.LSOFT.COM>
MOM - Job Description
>
> POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed for challenging permanent
work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts
on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive
camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away
cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be
able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be
willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget
repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone
calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework
projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for
clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be
indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly
and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys, and
battery-operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for
the worst. Must assume final , complete accountability for the quality of
the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to
remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training
offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises
and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When
you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only
do more.
>
> BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job
provides limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life
if you play your cards right.
>
PeaceNick
========================================================= Important
Subscriber Information:
The Museum-L FAQ file is located at
http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed
information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail
message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should
read "help" (without the quotes).
If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to
[log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "Signoff
Museum-L" (without the quotes).
=========================================================
Important Subscriber Information:
The Museum-L FAQ file is located at http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "help" (without the quotes).
If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "Signoff Museum-L" (without the quotes).
|