This came from the Abbey News via the calligraphy list; it seemed appropriate to forward it to y'all: >LIKE, IT CAME FROM THE POLE, DUDE, IV >(Santa and the Pacific Rim) >by Sally Shelton > >'Twas the night before Christmas (it comes every year, >Just like taxes and bad verse and all that you fear), >And the moon on the breast of the new fall'n snow >Was two thousand miles distant from San Diego. >Yes, no sign of sleighs or of snowmen or ice; >Christmas in Surfland looke eerily nice. >All the museum was mellow, but I wasn't calm. >Santa would never leave gifts 'neath a palm. >Santa is. . .pudgy. . .and that's not PC, >Nor is forced reindeer labor or elf slavery. >With all of the paperwork he'd have to file, >I figured he'd skip California by miles. >So I worked late that night in the museum collections, >Working on grants going in all directions, >Grousing and sniping (too much working with birds) >And trying to find the right wheedling words, >When, what to my wondering eyes should appear >But a globular shape in the high atmosphere >Aiming to land on the museum's flat roof-- >But a disaster awaited that first tiny hoof. >Santa had fed himself well all year long, >And trying to land here was terribly wrong. >The weight was just more than the fault line could hold, >And, as he touched down, he made all the ground fold >And buckle and heave (I was heaving some, too) >And Santa and cervids were airborne anew. >It looked like a rodeo up in the sky >As I clung to the door frame and watched things fly by. >There were bottles and fossils and flowers and gems-- >And was that a curator shreiking out "Auntie Em!"? >Santa was caught in the antlers and reins, >And I shuddered to think of the multiple pains. >As soon as the quake stopped, SC came to earth >And came to his feet--no mean trick for his girth. >His belly was shaking, though he wasn't ho-hoing, >And he threw me some boxes and said he was going. >I can't say he was much of a jolly old elf, >But the big rock'n'roll left me speechless myself. >He untangled his team, but he found only six, >So two or three reindeer are up to some tricks, >Hiding behind dioramas and walls >And scaring the tourists by running down halls. >The boxes? Emergency gear for survival, >Post-earthquake, -election, and -budget arrival. >Dried soup and used flashlights, secondhand seismic bracing, >Political earplugs, belt tightener lacing. >He left with a finger aside of his nose; >We did, too, but not the finger he chose. >But don't think that we don't know whom to exalt: >We've renamed the feature the Santa Claus Fault. Happy Holidays - Anne Anne Lane Curatorial Assistant Museum of York County 4621 Mt. Gallant Road Rock Hill, SC 29732-9905 803-329-2121 ext 122 * [log in to unmask]