Anna,
I second the recommendation for Kline Creek Farm. It's owned by the DuPage County Forest Preserve near Chicago. I grew up on another property owned by the Forest Preserve, where they had horses and gave riding lessons and horse-drawn wagon rides. My father, the director of the equestrian center, worked closely with Kline Creek Farm to coordinate wagon rides, plowing demonstrations, and other period-correct equine activities.
Another site to explore would be Garfield Farm in La Fox, Illinois (near St. Charles and Batavia). The centerpiece of the property is a stagecoach-route tavern built in the mid-1800's, accompanied by several original farm outbuildings and other historic buildings moved to the property. The farm puts on living history programs and other associated activities such as an annual Heritage Livestock & Produce fair. They don't focus on a particular decade so much as the history of the tavern, the property, and the Garfield family (President Garfield was a cousin of this branch). Their presentation focuses on 19th century life style, rather than a lot of specifics.
In California, I would encourage you to explore Riley's Farm in Oak Glen, CA. I'm currently working there as a program assistant & tour lead, and the Riley family produces living history field trips and educational tours. In particular interest to your search would be the Old Joe Homestead Tour (19th century farm life) and maybe the Gold Rush Tour. The buildings aren't historic but staff are dressed in carefully researched costumes (produced on site) and learn speech patterns and mannerisms to better put the visitors "back in time." You can explore their website for more info, or I can discuss their programs in further detail with you.