Terri - what if you said that you would prefer any further directives to be in writing? You could make up some sort of excuse. Candace Perry _____ From: Museum discussion list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Terri Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2012 8:41 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: [MUSEUM-L] Inter-personnel Dynamic is affecting my facility All, Thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions; they are GREATLY appreciated! One thing I failed to mention was that I took over as Director in late 2010 and this behavioral dynamic has been occurring more frequently/strongly as time passes. Despite numerous attempts to discuss these issues with my supervisor, I cannot seem to effectively explain the affect their behavior towards me is having on my staff's morale - and I have long ago lost any ground/esteem with my Foundation I once had (and whose activities I am supposed to oversee!). It seems to me that my supervisor is trying to make decisions though I still retain responsibility on paper. Previous attempts have included training sessions (in the hope they would impart their wisdom in a mentor-mentee setting), one-on-one Q & A sessions which revolved around each position's duties and responsibilities, and once, our head guy was brought in to mediate - all of these events ended with this person agreeing, but not following through! I suppose what I am looking for is perhaps a few other ways to broach this without resorting to a confrontation - our regulations, responsibilities, & duties at the federal level are pretty set and I am worried this person will further violate them through their decisions. Which, as they are my supervisor, I have to follow but those decisions are not always in keeping with our regulations and since it is MY responsibility, it will fall back on me (and yes, I have expressed this concern to them). I have been keeping records of these occurrences (thank you for reminding me Joanne!) as they occur in writing, but this person always gives me directives over the phone or in person, eliminating most of my ability to paper trail. I KNOW there's got to be other non-confrontational ways to make this 'click and stick' - I just haven't found it yet. Thoughts? Terri Bedore Director, USAF Security Forces Museum [log in to unmask] On Aug 16, 2012, at 5:00 PM, Rhonda Dass wrote: Change can be hard for people, even when it is a positive change. Finding new boundaries for both of you is important to your transitions. It becomes harder when both of you are transitioning to new roles at the same time. Think of it as a negotiation rather than a confrontation and talk with your supervisor about expectations and roles for you. I think Cassandra's advice is sound in talking with your supervisor about their role as your mentor. Good luck. Rhonda On Thu, Aug 16, 2012 at 10:52 AM, Cass Karl <[log in to unmask]> wrote: Terri, Have you expressed to this person that you would like her to mentor you? Maybe frame it in terms of, "I need to lead the Volunteers and have credibility with the Foundation and you did really well with that- can you give me any advice?" That may go a long way towards forming your relationship into something more constructive. Also, you mentioned that she "took some of her duties with her" when she transfered- this is something you really should clarify with your supervisor. You need a clear deliniation between what is your responsibility and what is hers in order to do your job effectively. Just my two cents. -Casandra On 8/16/12, Terri <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > All, > > This is an extremely personal topic for me, but unfortunately, I am a > one-person shop and do not have another peer in my agency I can take this > to. I have been a member of this List-serv for a while now and believe its > members to have a wide range of experiences - hopefully wide enough to give > me some advice. > > Has anyone else had experience with hierarchy shifts where the current > director of a facility advances and becomes a supervisor and you yourself > got moved from another location into their old position (basically your > predecessor is your supervisor)? Keep in mind that you both used to be the > same rank/pay but at different locations. I was at the equivalent of the > local/regional office while they were at a specific facility. Now we've > switch locations; I am at a specific location and they took over my old > supervisor's post at the local office - my old position was not filled due > to budget cuts. > > I'm having some difficulties with "letting go" coupled with "I've done this > longer/older than you" syndromes (20 years experience to my 10+ and early > 70s to my early 30s) and would greatly appreciate some advice. I want to > view this person as a mentor, but feel I'm not taken seriously nor as a > professional with some experience. I would like to be seen as a > professional, but feel the duties and responsibilities they once enjoyed in > my current position have transferred up with them, rather than staying with > my position. This dynamic is starting to erode my authority with my > volunteers and my Foundation; I am just not sure how to broach this subject > with my supervisor but know something needs to be done before it seriously > affects my Museum. > > I would appreciate any thoughts; please contact me off-list. > > Respectfully, > > Terri Bedore > Director, USAF Security Forces Museum > > [log in to unmask] > ========================================================= > Important Subscriber Information: > > The Museum-L FAQ file is located at > http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed > information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail message > to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "help" > (without the quotes). > > If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to > [log in to unmask] . 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