I want to preface my advice with--I am not a textile conservator but have had some experience cleaning small historic textiles.  I would be wary of handwashing an antique/vintage wedding dress.  Fabric becomes very heavy when wet and very delicate---a great opportunity to have the fabric rip.  Also, the decoration on the dress my not wash as well as the fabrics.   If a do-it-myself handwashing was the only opition, I would create a support to lift the dress in and out of the water to prevent tears.  I would also enlist the help of a few people.  As far as "soap,"  I only use Orvis which you can buy from Gaylord, University Products, and sometimes quilt stores.  

I agree with the other listers about the scam of Wedding dress preservation.  I had my wedding dress dry cleaned right after the wedding and have it folded in  the largest acid free box I could find. 

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