As a male who seriously screwed up in a former life, vis a vis balancing (type AAA personality), I've found in my second chance that an actual listing of priorities - family first - helps. There are some things at work that MUST be done to do the job right. Discovering which ones these truly are - and aren't - is worth the effort. I don't go home to my job. I go home to my life. Stephen ________________________________ From: Museum discussion list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Julia Moore Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 2:29 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: A question of balance Not to be a curmudgeon, but why aren't any of the male list members posting on this topic? Don't they have the same concern about balance? Or is everything taken care of for them by their wives, who have to do the balancing act? Nevertheless, I agree with earlier posts that state that in order to be the best you can be, you have to pick and choose what you actually do. It's OK to say "no" to some things because you don't have the time or energy to do them right. You can devote your at-work time to your institution, but limit outside involvement to options that you simultaneously feel passionate about AND that are good for the advancement of your museum. If it's primarily one or the other, then you have to decide if it's worth giving up family time to spend time on that commitment. That's a decision that's yours and yours alone to make: don't let anyone make it for you. Or you can decide that some things are going to get done at a level somewhat less than your best, and feel comfortable with that. Again, not to stir up any gender wars but I think women don't often realize that's an option. Sometimes you can only commit to trying or simply getting things moving instead of to performing at 110%. Julia Muney Moore Public Art Administrator Blackburn Architects, Indianapolis, IN (317) 875-5500 x230 ========================================================= Important Subscriber Information: The Museum-L FAQ file is located at http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "help" (without the quotes). If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "Signoff Museum-L" (without the quotes). ========================================================= Important Subscriber Information: The Museum-L FAQ file is located at http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "help" (without the quotes). If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "Signoff Museum-L" (without the quotes). ========================================================= Important Subscriber Information: The Museum-L FAQ file is located at http://www.finalchapter.com/museum-l-faq/ . You may obtain detailed information about the listserv commands by sending a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "help" (without the quotes). If you decide to leave Museum-L, please send a one line e-mail message to [log in to unmask] . The body of the message should read "Signoff Museum-L" (without the quotes).