" I have had double coverage through my own and my spouses employers and the "secondary" (my husband's insurance program) has covered most of my 20% co-pay for my primary insurance (after the deductible on the secondary policy has been paid).  Most hospitals and doctor's offices' forms ask for information on secondary coverage.  "
 
This makes sense. If you pay for dual coverage and are eligible to do so, you should be able to use it.
 
However, to the original question, whether or not you get payment in lieu of benefits you decline will be up to your individual employer and the local laws governing that employer.  For instance, if a state mandates no discrimination based on marital status and an employer paid full premium for married employees, an employee who was single would receive the difference between their premium and the married/family coverage.


 
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