Ross,
I enjoyed this!  Great to have a bit of humour towards the end of the week.
Here's one for you, also circulating our Museum offices:

A man and his wife went scuba diving together, but after about a half an
hour, she couldn't find him. She looked and looked, but to no avail.
Finally  a search team was called, but after many hours, they found nothing.
The  woman went home, and a few hours later, two policemen arrived at his
door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mrs. Wilkens, but we have some
information about your husband."
"Well, tell me!" the woman said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some  really
great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
 Fearing the worst, Mrs. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The
policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found  your
husband's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my God!" said Mrs. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering  what
the policeman had said, she asked, "What's the good news?"
 "Well," said the policeman, "when we pulled him up he had two five-pound
lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on him"
 "If that's the good news than what's the great news?" Mrs. Wilkens
demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull him up again tomorrow morning."

__________________________________________________________________
Have a happy day!
Roger



-----Original Message-----
From: Ross Weeks <[log in to unmask]>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.museum-l
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Thursday, 13 May 1999 9:37
Subject: Some office humor


>>Key Phrases For Use With Office Colleagues (especially museums)
>>
>>1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
>view.
>>2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
>>3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
>>4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
>>5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
>>6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
>>7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
>>8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
>>9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
>>10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
>>11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
>>12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
>>13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
>>14. How about never? Is never good for you?
>>15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
>>16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
>>17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
>>18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
>>19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
>>20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
>>21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
>>22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
>>really quite busy.
>>23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
>>24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
>>25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
>public.
>>26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the
>subject.
>
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