I am from the semi-South (eastern shore of Md.),I have a double
name, my grandmother's best friend was "Miss Virginia"... but
I am mystified by the point about not parking in front of
the house you are visiting. Is this a terrible faux pas I never even
knew I was making? Mary Day Kent


>At 10:45 AM 8/27/98 -0500, you wrote:
>
>>I am from the Northwest (Oregon).  I came to Texas twenty-seven years ago.
>> It was not until I took this museum position (I did international stuff
>>for twenty years), that I fully encountered the "Confederate" attitude.  I
>>have been amazed over the past six years that it still exists.  Mind you,
>>it generally has nothing to do with the slavery issue.  I is focused more
>>on the "Southern Culture" whatever that might be, and its loss since the
>>War.  There is a strong anti-"federal" element, although most of the vocal
>>ones don't understand what "federal" really means.
>
>As one who was born in the South and has lived all my life in the South,
>let me try and clarify.
>
>What you are calling a "Confederate" attitude associated with the South, is
>not "true Southern Culture" but basic stupidity brought on by ignorance and
>an unwillingness to change.
>
>I pride myself on being well-schooled in "Southern Culture" and hold none
>of those anti-federal sentiments nor do I believe that the NEA is
>responsible for the degredation of society and the family.
>
>"Southern Culture" is a whole 'nother mindset.  It is calling everyone,
>regardless of nationality, creed, socialization, birthplace or age either
>"Sir" or "Ma'am", especially those who are older than oneself.  It is
>refering to people by "Mr.", "Miz", "Miss" or "Mrs." lastname until they
>give you permission to call them by their first names.  (You don't know how
>erked I get when some cashier who I've never seen before and probably will
>never see again calls me "Deborah" because it's the name on my credit
>card.)  It's refering to the elderly as "Miss"  or "Mr" Firstname and
>having grandparents that are fondly refered to as "Big Mamma" and "Big
>Daddy" as well as having at least one cousin called either "Hoss", "Buddy"
>or "Earl."  It's haveing at least one female relative must be called by two
>first names, many times having one that is typically male like "Bobby Sue"
>or "Betty Anne".
>
>In the South, people do not walk or drive fast.  (Those elderly who moved
>to Florida after they retired do not count.)  One does not hurry anywhere
>else you are late for church or Sunday dinner at Big Mamma's.  Cars are
>never parked directly in front of someone's house.
>
>"Visitin'" is the Southern past-time.  Afternoons are spent wandering from
>house to house, inquiring about the health and well-being person's
>immediate family and family friends.  Gossip is not allowed and personal or
>in-depth questions about health or family are not permitted.  Neither are
>heated topics such as politics, religion and why Mary Sue suddenly got
>married and had a baby 6 months later.
>
>Visitin' is often done unannounced and if someone is not home, one simply
>moves to another house and comes back later.  Seldom are unannounced guests
>seen as an imposition and people are rarely too busy not to at least take
>time for a short chat on the porch.  The hosts will always offer something
>to drink like iced tea and something to eat like cake or small sandwiches.
>These are always on hand and can be seasonal.  For example, watermellon is
>always around during the summer and is often left cut in half with a knife
>stuck in it on the kitchen counter for all to dig into.  Iced tea is always
>served sweetened and unsweetened tea is always offered with Sweet N' Low.
>
>Dinner, the meal after breakfast and before supper, is the largest meal of
>the day and must include either biscuts, cornbread, some pork product and
>leftovers from the meal the day before.
>Catfish is always served fried with hush puppies;  tartar sauce is for
>yuppies. Barbeque is rated like fine wine and styles vary from region to
>region.  Any sort of pre-bottled sauce is considered high sacriledge and an
>open pit is madatory.  Gravy can be put on anything and is usually served
>at most meals.  When in doubt, fry it.  Bisquick has more uses than duct tape.
>
>Southern Culture means smiling and saying hello to everyone that you pass
>on the street.  Making eye contact with strangers is not a pre-cursor to
>mugging.  It's knowing all your neighbors on a first name basis and
>greeting new neighbors with a caserole or dessert.
>
>It is many other things as well but that would be someone's cultural
>anthropology dissertation.  But hopefully this gives you a brief look at a
>unique way of life.
>
>Deb Fuller, and yes I really called my grandmother "Big mamma", have an
>uncle Earl, and a relative known as "Edna Mae"  :)
>
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