normally I eschew "here, here" (or is that hear, hear?) posts, but in this
case Astrida sums things up perfectly.

Are our institutions so stuck in Victorianism that we don't think there is a
place in them for parents and infants? No wonder people still regard Museums
as stuffy institutions...

tim a

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Museum discussion list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
> Behalf Of Astrida Schaeffer
> Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 11:08 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Babies in museums
>
>
> OK, I had vowed to step away from the breastfeeding debate but this post
> bothered me. When my daughter was an infant, she went with me to a wide
> variety of museums and galleries. I couldn't afford a babysitter. She also
> loved nursing, but consistently refused a bottle, so expressing beforehand
> was not an option. Babies, like people, are not all alike. You
> can have all
> sorts of expectations, but babies will happily ignore them.
>
> So what did I do when she began to fuss in a museum? I am one of those
> parents who tried to be considerate of the experience of other
> patrons. So I
> never let her get worked up before I dealt with the situation. If
> there was
> a secluded area available, I used it to nurse. I even resorted to
> bathrooms
> when I had to. (In my case, it wasn't out of shame, but out of need as my
> ultra-curious infant would not nurse if there was anything
> interesting going
> on, even if she was hungry.)
>
> Today my daughter is six. She grew up going to museums and as a
> result, she
> knows how to behave in one. She knows about not running, not touching, not
> shouting. She also knows  about pointillism and still life and
> sculpture and
> the expressive possibilities of media used by artists. She knows how lives
> once looked different without the material objects we have around
> us today.
> She knows how people dressed differently and did different
> things--and that
> some things have not changed. She can tell you how the oils on your hands
> can damage art--she wouldn't even touch a pair of white gloves I had in my
> office because she didn't want to soil them for when I needed them later.
> Granted, she is the child of a museum professional. But most of what she
> knows about art and historical museums was learned by going to them.
>
> She also knows how to behave in movie theaters and fine
> restaurants. She can
> sit through a full-length ballet. Whenever we're on an airplane, she is so
> well-behaved that inevitably the person in front of her is
> surprised at the
> end of the flight that they were sitting in front of a child. She says
> please and thank you without prompting. She is intensely creative and
> erudite.
>
> She didn't get this way by being left at home. She got this way by
> experience and exposure. Is she perfect? No. She's six and she
> can drive me
> nuts. She can squirm so much I'm amazed she doesn't give off
> light. She has
> her bad days. But she has always been treated with respect and has always
> returned that respect accordingly. The groundwork laid when she was an
> infant bore fruit later on, when she was old enough to alter her
> actions to
> suit expectations of behavior.
>
> She would be a very different child if she'd always been left at home. In
> fact, it's the kids who DO get left at home all the time who
> don't know how
> to behave in public settings.
>
>
> Astrida
> ******************
> Astrida Schaeffer, Assistant Director
> The Art Gallery
> University of New Hampshire
> Paul Creative Arts Center
> 30 College Road
> Durham, NH 03824
> (603) 862-3712
> [log in to unmask]
>
> ******************
>
>
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: John Martinson [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 12:15 PM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Visitor conduct, sensitive issues...
> >
> >
> > I believe we are ignoring one important factor with this
> > issue, and that is
> > the "other"
> > guest, patrons or visitors in the gallery.   When the infant
> > is crying and
> > screaming for
> > food, why not ask the other guest if they are being disturbed
> > by the noise
> > level?
> >
> > Guest/patrons paid good money to enjoy their visit to the
> > gallery, and with
> > a screaming
> > child wanting food---do they deserve to have their experience
> > and visited
> > ruined?
> > Why not allow nursing mothers in libraries?  Movies?
> >
> > When someone is trying to study, read, etc., having any noise
> > is difficult.
> > And I'm
> > sorry, galleries, libraries and movie houses are just not suited for
> > infants, when other
> > people are trying to enjoy the event.   I've been to many movies and
> > galleries, and it often
> > takes two-to-ten minutes of crying before the baby settles down or the
> > parents have the consideration for others to take their
> > infant out.   But,
> > by then the rest of us missed the movie or cannot even enjoy
> > our own visit.
> > I beleive many theathers have on their previews instructions
> > to remove a
> > crying child, and many have lounges to handle nursing an infant.
> >
> > I have no intention of being crude by saying this, but as far as women
> > feeding their babies in public is it preverted to look?
> > Hey, I'm a guy!
> > ;o)  But, other women also look, including children.   I
> > would look at a
> > women top-less at a beach or exposing herself in a public
> > place.  It is not
> > preverted.   Sometimes you look because you are shocked to
> > see a breast
> > hanging out in public or someone running around topless.  Remember the
> > streaking days?   You cannot help from looking---but it
> > distrubed the game
> > or event.  Even in many churches, infants are provided a
> > nusery.  Maybe this
> > may solve the issue.
> >
> > Again, nursing mothers can express milk before they go out
> > for the evening
> > to stop that hurting nibble.  They can also get a baby sitter
> > for a few
> > hours to get out and enjoy a gallery/museum (I'm sure most
> > mother's would
> > like the time away) without distrubing other guest that would
> > like some
> > peace and enjoyment while visiting the gallery.
> >
> > Again, IMHO, it is ignornate for parents to bring infants to
> > such public
> > places, when the infant/child is to young to even know what
> > they are seeing
> > or doing.   And for them (the parents or mother) to destroy
> > my enjoyment, or
> > that of other patrons is inconsiderate, rude and should not
> > be allowed in a
> > public place where others have paid admission to see and enjoy.   As a
> > guest, I would demand my money back.   Galleries and exhibits
> > are spaces to
> > learn -- and it is a proven fact that it is difficult to
> > learn with noise
> > and distractions are taking place.
> >
> > Again, the focus has been on the nursing mother, and we have
> > ignored the
> > rest of the visitors' enjoyment.   A crying baby or nursing
> > mother is a
> > distraction, that should be handled in a private area,
> > leaving the rest of
> > the patrons free to relax and enjoy the gallery.  The parent
> > should have the
> > reasoning to take the child out, handle the issue or have the
> > resources
> > there to calm the child immediately or not bring the infant at all.
> >
> > This has nothing to do with ole' Victorian customs, but just
> > common courtesy
> > for the rest of our guest.
> >
> > ~~~  Toro!
> >
> > John
> >
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