*sigh* I give up......
"The Gift"
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday,
and
as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he
>> decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not
>> too
>> personal.
>>
>> Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom
>> and
>> bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
>> for
>> herself.
>>
>> During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got
>> the
>> gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the
>> contents,
>> the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the
>> following note:
>>
>> "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
>> wearing
>> any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister,
>> I
>> would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short
>> ones
>> that are easier to remove.
>>
>> "These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me
>> the
>> pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly
>> soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
>>
>> "I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt
>> other
>> hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you
>> again.
>>
>> "When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them
>> away as
>> they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
>>
>> "Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I
>> hope
>> you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.
>>
>> "P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
>> showing."
>>
>> --------
>>
>> This letter originated at Ricks College in Rexburg, Idaho. It brings
>> good
>> luck to everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will
>> have bad
>> luck.
>>
>> Do not keep this letter. Do not send money. Just have your wonderful,
>> efficient computer make five additional copies and send it to five of
>> your
>> friends to whom you wish good luck. You will see that something good
>> happens to you four days from now if the chain is not broken.
>>
>> This is not a joke. You will receive good luck in four days.
>>
>>
>> love love l ove love lo
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> ve love love love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love l ove love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love l ove love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love love love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love love love l
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> ove love love love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love love lov
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> e love love love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love love lo
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> ve love love love lo
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> ve love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> love
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
***Send this to 5 people or your heart will be broken in
>> the
>> next
>> >>>24
>> >>>>>>>>hours.
>
>> The New Priest
>> >>
>> >>A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could
>> >>hardly speak.
>> >>
>> >>After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor
>> >>replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
>> >>
>> >>I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
>> nervous,
>> >>I take a sip."
>> >>
>> >>So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning
>> >>of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk
>> >>up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the
>> following
>> >>note on his door:
>> >>
>> >>1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
>> >>
>> >>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>> >>
>> >>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>> >>
>> >>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>> >>
>> >>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>> >>
>> >>6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>> >>
>> >>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
>> Junior,
>> >and Spook.
>> >>
>> >>8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
>> >>
>> >>9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don'tsay
>> he
>> >was stoned off his ass.
>> >>
>> >>10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
>> >>
>> >>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take
>> >> this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
>> >>
>> >>12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
>> >>
>> >>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks
>> for
>> >the grub, yeah God."
>> >>
>> >>14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.
>> >> Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
>> >>
>> >>The origination of this letter is unknown, but It brings good luck to
>> >>everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad
>> >>luck. Do not keep this letter. Do not send money. Just forward it to
>> >>five of your friends to whom you wish good luck.
>> >>
>> >>You will see that something good happens to you four days from now if
>> >>the chain is not broken. You will receive good luck in four days.
>> >>
*************************************************************
The Delaware County Historical Alliance
P.O. Box 1266, Muncie, IN 47308-1266
(317) 282-1550, (317) 282-1058 (fax)
Memberships: Individuals $20, Families $30, Students $5.
Jpournal Subscriptions: $13 (published quarterly)
Office open Monday - Friday, 9 - 4
*Moore-Youse Home Museum, 122 E. Washington, Muncie
open Wednesday through Sunday 1 - 4
*Heritage Library, 120 E. Washington, Muncie,
open Monday and Tuesday 10 - 4, Saturday 10 - 1
web site: http://www.iquest.net/~dcha/
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