Truly a complex issue this personal stuff.  As an interviewee I too would
probably bring in information about my personal life, because I would want
to be sure that the employer would be supportive of employee's larger
selves.  And not just for me: it can be devastating to watch a co-worker
get torn apart between the demands of their family life and the demands of
an unsympathetic boss.  And losing that co-worker when they look for a
better place to work can mean more work having to train their replacement
etc.

Another issue is "skills": what are these and how do we show that we have
them or have the ability to acquire new ones?  Sometimes these "skills"
are things that we've acquired and demonstrated in our personal lives.
Like managing a household of 6 kids (or 2!).  Or because we've volunteered
as the bookkeeper, or a crisis line worker, for an organization that
reveals something about our political or personal beliefs, feminist or
civil rights groups for example.

Being committed to one's family, however we define it, could also be seen
positively by an organization.  Instead of something that takes away from
work-time, committed connection to others may enhance our ability to work
with people, demonstrate our ability to be committed to something not
just because we get paid for it, and might additionally suggest that we
have resources that will enable us to get "recharged" when things at work
are exhausting.




On Fri, 8 Feb 2002, Tracie Kay Evans wrote:

> Audra-
> Am I correct in understanding that you penalize candidates who mention
> things about thier families? Excuse Me?  This is worse then asking in
> the first place. This is still discrimination! My family is important to
> me and does play a factor in my decisions and can sometimes be
> illustrative of my abilities and skills.
>
>  I ususally bring up something about my family during my interview.  I
> want to see how the employer feels about families because whether we
> want to believe it or not, they impact who we are and what we do.  There
> will be times when you must choose your family over work and I want to
> know how the employer will reaction to this.  I will not choose between
> family and work, because to be honest my family is more important than
> any JOB! (Yes, I mean that, JOB.  Stop kidding ourselves, you can
> quibble all you want but any kind of employment is still a job.)
>
> That does not mean however that I advocate taking advantage of an
> employer because of your family, but I have been in situations that once
> hired I was told that if I left work for family reasons I would be
> written up. We had to make ALL arrangements for unexpected illnesses and
> injuries ahead of time. (Like its possible too) So now, I want to know,
> how they feel about my family and unexpected events.  I know what your
> are thinking, that's illegal, and it might well be but employers can
> make your life very difficult if they want to regarding your family and
> thier demands on your time.  I also want to see how flexible an employer
> is regarding school activities, doctors appointments, and other similar
> kinds of situations, do you have the ability to change your schedule if
> something you didn't know about comes up.
>
>
> Tracie
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Audra Oliver wrote:
>
> > "As an employer I think it reasonable to ask how an applicant's spouse
> > and/or family might react to moving long distance. "
> >
> >
> >
> > That would hold true if you were the employer and transferring the
> > employee, perhaps.  But as a prospective employer, I question the
> > appropriateness of knowing the applicant's marital/family status. When
> > I interviewed people, I did not ask about family. I did not look
> > favorably upon candidates that volunteered this information that I
> > considered inappropriate.  When asked as a candidate, I would say that
> > everyone was excited about the possibility, and sometimes I would say
> > that the "everyone" consisted of a mix of four-legged species.
> >
> >
> >
> > Isn't equal opportunity about hiring the candidate and not their
> > spouse/kids/mother?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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