It sounds like polite society.  Some aspects of what Ms. Fuller describes
(okay to call you Deb?), are reminiscent of what my grandmother tried to
inculcate in me:  courtesy, respect for your elders, being calm in the
face of adversity, or just calm because you are better centered and able
to deal with life.  Of course the food is different.  Some of the
visitin' stuff is also reminscent of my husband's Greek aunts, who are
finely tuned and will heap you with so many tall glasses of iced water
and spoons filled with 'masticha.'  From pitas to tortillas, it's been a
whole life of adjustment, but the politeness, courtesy, and regard for
others remain basic to our overall cultures.

O
Olivia S. Anastasiadis, Curator
Richard Nixon Library & Birthplace
18001 Yorba Linda Boulevard
Yorba Linda, CA  92886
(714) 993-5075 ext. 224; fax (714) 528-0544; e-mail:  [log in to unmask]

On Thu, 27 Aug 1998 15:59:05 -0400 Deb Fuller
<[log in to unmask]> writes:
>At 10:45 AM 8/27/98 -0500, you wrote:
>
>>I am from the Northwest (Oregon).  I came to Texas twenty-seven years
>ago.
>> It was not until I took this museum position (I did international
>stuff
>>for twenty years), that I fully encountered the "Confederate"
>attitude.  I
>>have been amazed over the past six years that it still exists.  Mind
>you,
>>it generally has nothing to do with the slavery issue.  I is focused
>more
>>on the "Southern Culture" whatever that might be, and its loss since
>the
>>War.  There is a strong anti-"federal" element, although most of the
>vocal
>>ones don't understand what "federal" really means.
>
>As one who was born in the South and has lived all my life in the
>South,
>let me try and clarify.
>
>What you are calling a "Confederate" attitude associated with the
>South, is
>not "true Southern Culture" but basic stupidity brought on by
>ignorance and
>an unwillingness to change.
>
>I pride myself on being well-schooled in "Southern Culture" and hold
>none
>of those anti-federal sentiments nor do I believe that the NEA is
>responsible for the degredation of society and the family.
>
>"Southern Culture" is a whole 'nother mindset.  It is calling
>everyone,
>regardless of nationality, creed, socialization, birthplace or age
>either
>"Sir" or "Ma'am", especially those who are older than oneself.  It is
>refering to people by "Mr.", "Miz", "Miss" or "Mrs." lastname until
>they
>give you permission to call them by their first names.  (You don't
>know how
>erked I get when some cashier who I've never seen before and probably
>will
>never see again calls me "Deborah" because it's the name on my credit
>card.)  It's refering to the elderly as "Miss"  or "Mr" Firstname and
>having grandparents that are fondly refered to as "Big Mamma" and "Big
>Daddy" as well as having at least one cousin called either "Hoss",
>"Buddy"
>or "Earl."  It's haveing at least one female relative must be called
>by two
>first names, many times having one that is typically male like "Bobby
>Sue"
>or "Betty Anne".
>
>In the South, people do not walk or drive fast.  (Those elderly who
>moved
>to Florida after they retired do not count.)  One does not hurry
>anywhere
>else you are late for church or Sunday dinner at Big Mamma's.  Cars
>are
>never parked directly in front of someone's house.
>
>"Visitin'" is the Southern past-time.  Afternoons are spent wandering
>from
>house to house, inquiring about the health and well-being person's
>immediate family and family friends.  Gossip is not allowed and
>personal or
>in-depth questions about health or family are not permitted.  Neither
>are
>heated topics such as politics, religion and why Mary Sue suddenly got
>married and had a baby 6 months later.
>
>Visitin' is often done unannounced and if someone is not home, one
>simply
>moves to another house and comes back later.  Seldom are unannounced
>guests
>seen as an imposition and people are rarely too busy not to at least
>take
>time for a short chat on the porch.  The hosts will always offer
>something
>to drink like iced tea and something to eat like cake or small
>sandwiches.
>These are always on hand and can be seasonal.  For example,
>watermellon is
>always around during the summer and is often left cut in half with a
>knife
>stuck in it on the kitchen counter for all to dig into.  Iced tea is
>always
>served sweetened and unsweetened tea is always offered with Sweet N'
>Low.
>
>Dinner, the meal after breakfast and before supper, is the largest
>meal of
>the day and must include either biscuts, cornbread, some pork product
>and
>leftovers from the meal the day before.
>Catfish is always served fried with hush puppies;  tartar sauce is for
>yuppies. Barbeque is rated like fine wine and styles vary from region
>to
>region.  Any sort of pre-bottled sauce is considered high sacriledge
>and an
>open pit is madatory.  Gravy can be put on anything and is usually
>served
>at most meals.  When in doubt, fry it.  Bisquick has more uses than
>duct tape.
>
>Southern Culture means smiling and saying hello to everyone that you
>pass
>on the street.  Making eye contact with strangers is not a pre-cursor
>to
>mugging.  It's knowing all your neighbors on a first name basis and
>greeting new neighbors with a caserole or dessert.
>
>It is many other things as well but that would be someone's cultural
>anthropology dissertation.  But hopefully this gives you a brief look
>at a
>unique way of life.
>
>Deb Fuller, and yes I really called my grandmother "Big mamma", have
>an
>uncle Earl, and a relative known as "Edna Mae"  :)
>
>--------------------------------------------
>Staples &  Charles Ltd.
>225 N Fairfax St.
>Alexandria, VA 22314
>USA
>703-683-0900 - voice
>703-683-2820 - fax
>[log in to unmask]
>

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