Might I add:

University of Oregon:  Thought the "hot June" part was the joke...


At 05:12 PM 6/8/99 -0400, you wrote:
>Humor for a hot June:
>
>Question:  How many college kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
>
>
>Answers (by college/university):
>
>University of Chicago:  None.  The market will take  care of it.
>
>American University:   Four.  One to make an emergency call to public
>safety,
>one to screw it in when public safety doesn't show up, one to write an
>editorial in the Eagle and the other to explain the process to all the
>international students.
>
>Vanderbilt:  Two.  One to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay
>the bill.
>
>Princeton:  Two.  One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
>
>Brown:   Eleven.  One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
>experience.
>
>Dartmouth:  None.  Hanover doesn't have electricity.
>
>Cornell:  Two.  One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
>pressure.
>
>Penn:  Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
>
>Columbia:  Seventy-six.  One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the
>lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.
>
>Yale:  None.  New Haven looks better in the dark.
>
>Harvard:  One.  He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
>
>M.I.T.: Five.  One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
>changing,
>one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked
>lightbulb,
>two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the
>wall switch.
>
>Vassar:  Eleven.  One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
>
>Middlebury:  Five.  One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect
>J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
>
>Stanford:  One.  Dude.
>
>Oberlin:  Three.  One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off
>the old one.
>
>Georgetown:  Four.  One to change it, one to call Congress about their
>progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.
>
>Duke:  A whole frat.  But only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb
>out of the socket.
>
>Williams:  The whole student body-when you're snowed in, there's nothing
>else
>to do.
>
>Tufts:  Two.  One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did
>it as well as an Ivy League student.
>
>Sarah Lawrence:  Five.  One to change the bulb and four to do an
>interpretive
>dance about it.
>
>Swarthmore:  Eight.  It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's
>just
>that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
>
>Boston University:  Four.  One to change the bulb and two to check his math
>homework.
>
>Wesleyan:  Wesleyan's boycotting GE ...  you know, military-industrial
>complex and all that.
>
>Connecticut College:  Two.  One to change the bulb and one to complain about
>how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
>
>Virginia: Thirteen.  Ten to form student committee to vote on whether
>changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the
>bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute
>electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
>
>Bowdoin:  Three.  One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one
>to take the chairlift back to school and one to screw in the bulb.
>
>Boston College:  Seven.  One to change the light bulb and six to throw a
>party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
>
>Santa Clara University:  One.  But you would never know about it because
>only
>Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs.
>
>Rutgers:  Four.  One to get the proper paperwork for replacing a bulb, one
>to
>hop on a bus, pay the fee and hand in the  paperwork, one to get the bulb,
>one to let the first three into the building because the first three forgot
>their slash cards.
>
>Franklin Pierce:  Four. One to argue that just because the bulb can't work
>anymore doesn't mean it's useless to society.  One to suggest we open a
>discussion on how to make old bulbs feel useful.  One to suggest we hold
>class outside today because we have no light.  And one to suggest that all
>light bulbs be removed and destroyed after 600 watt hours in order to keep
>places in society open for the younger generation of bulbs.
>
>University of South Carolina:   Two.  One to screw it in ... and the other
>person to explain it to the Clemson student (see no kerosene!!!!).
>
>Northern Illinois University: One.  But only until Thursday nights, because
>everyone goes home on the weekends.
>
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____________________________________________________________________________
________

  Pamela E. Endzweig
  Staff Archaeologist/Collections Manager
  Oregon State Museum of Anthropology/UO Museum of Natural History
  1224 University of Oregon, Eugene, OR 97403-1224  USA
  Ph 541-346-5090/5120  Fx 541-346-5122
  [log in to unmask]

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