With the information you provided, Belinda, I hope you will accept what
happened without further concern on your part.  An hour of being piqued and
puzzled seems justified, but not much more.

Once you do feel you need to use the curator as reference, I hope you will
contact him for permission to do so.  I have no doubt he will be supportive
of your future.  In fact, you might drop him a personal note reflecting on
how much you learned from your volunteer experience and how much you respect
him on a professional basis.

You seem to suggest the curator was interested in developing some
relationship with your boy friend.  That might be a stretch. A gay person is
not, contrary to stereotype, a predator any more than a heterosexual might
be.  Your friend might have inquired why he wanted to have this information,
since he would be moving anyway.  It was a matter for those two to resolve,
in my view.

Ross Weeks Jr.
Tazewell VA

----- Original Message -----
From: "Belinda Chun" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, April 27, 2001 11:56 PM
Subject: Insulted by Curator, Seek Advice


> Hello Everyone::
>
> This is a bit of an odd question...to begin, I have been volunteering at
> a commercial gallery consistently from Sept 2000-April 2001 and have
> been showing up at regular time and spending more time volunteering then
> I had originally thought.  I am also the only volunteer at this
> gallery.  I have enjoyed this experience and have looked up to the
> curator, who will remain unnamed.  However, today I went in for my last
> day to say "good bye" as I am only here for school (University), and now
> that finals are done I am heading home.  This was known and it was nice
> to get together to talk with the curator.  I should also mention that I
> went in with my boyfriend whom he (the curator) has met previously (many
> times as my boyfriend has at times dropped me off; the curator also
> knows that we have been dating for a few years).  I should also mention
> that the curator is gay, and is openly gay (by the way I do not have any
> problems with this).  What happened is that he (the curator) ended up
> asking my boyfriend for his number and his e-mail which my boyfriend
> gave knowing that his number will be disconnected in two days as he is
> moving too.  As for the e-mail he gave the wrong one. I don't know what
> I should do or if I should do anything, this has caused me to feel
> unappreciated, insulted and I feel strongly angry at myself for not
> saying anything.  My boyfriend has been supportive and is insulted by
> this curator, and feels that he is "not a good person".  This is
> especially magnified, since he didn't ask for my contacts and made it so
> blatantly obvious that he was "interested" only in my boyfriend, as he
> numerously interrupted me to talk to my boyfriend.
> I personally do not feel that this curator is useful in terms of
> "resume/reference" and still feel deeply hurt by this event.  I guess
> what I am asking then is for the museum-L subscriber to advise me if I
> should do anything or not?  And if anyone has been in some similar
> position what to do??
> Thank you for all those who reply, your advice will be greatly
> appreciated as I am left hurt by this incident.
> ~Belinda
>
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