PLEASE do NOT confuse String theory with FSM (Flying Spaghetti  
Monster) Theory.
One is poetic physics (which is hoped to lead, eventually, to TOE-- 
the theory of everything), the second is another of those human weird  
god-people inspired thingies.

The poor Kansas school board is confused enough with dragging their  
feet into it.

Lois
On Sep 12, 2005, at 2:50 PM, Greenwich wrote:

> An open letter to the Kansas School Board from the
> new FSM theorists of how we got here:
>
> http://www.venganza.org
>     (Illus., but text also shown below as well)
>
>     And 3 responses from members of the Kansas School Board:
> http://www.venganza.org/response.htm
>
> =================================================================
> OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD
>
> I am writing you with much concern after having
> read of your hearing to decide whether the
> alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be
> taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think
> we can all agree that it is important for students
> to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for
> themselves the theory that makes the most sense
> to them. I am concerned, however, that students
> will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.
>
> Let us remember that there are multiple theories
> of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the
> world are of the strong belief that the universe
> was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was
> He who created all that we see and all that we
> feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming
> scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary
> processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in
> place by Him.
>
> It is for this reason that I'm writing you today,
> to formally request that this alternative theory be
> taught in your schools, along with the other two
> theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do
> not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed
> with legal action.I'm sure you see where we are
> coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not
> based on faith, but instead another scientific
> theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our
> theory to be taught, as it is also based on
> science, not on faith.
>
> Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful
> to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We
> have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created
> the universe. None of us, of course, were
> around to see it, but we have written accounts of it.
> We have several lengthy volumes explaining all
> details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to
> hear that there are over 10 million of us, and
> growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many
> people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by
> observable evidence. What these people don't under-
> stand is that He built the world to make us
> think the earth is older than it really is. For
> example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating
> process on an artifact. He finds that approximately
> 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron
> emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this
> artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the
> half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years.
> But what our scientist does not realize is that
> every time he makes a measurement, the Flying
> Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with
> His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that
> describe in detail how this can be possible
> and the reasons why He does this. He is of course
> invisible and can pass through normal matter
> with ease.
>
> I'm sure you now realize how important it is that
> your students are taught this alternate theory. It is
> absolutely imperative that they realize that
> observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying
> Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful
> to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen
> outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I
> cannot stress the importance of this enough, and
> unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this
> must be done as I fear this letter is already
> becoming too long. The concise explanation is that
> He becomes angry if we don't.
>
> You may be interested to know that global warming,
> earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural
> disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking
> numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest,
> I have included a graph of the approximate number of
> pirates versus the average global temperature
> over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a
> statistically significant inverse relationship
> between pirates and global temperature.
>
> In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to
> hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to
> convey the importance of teaching this theory to
> your students. We will of course be able to train
> the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly
> awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no
> legal action will need to be taken. I think we can
> all look forward to the time when these three
> theories are given equal time in our science class-
> rooms across the country, and eventually the
> world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one
> third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and
> one third time for logical conjecture based on
> overwhelming observable evidence.
>
> Sincerely Yours,
>
> Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.
>
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