Heather,

Glad to hear that you are recovering. I've had pneumonia twice before
and it is nothing I'd wish even on the "Grinch".

Conservators have a strange love of these sort of horror stories. If
you ever want to see a serious professional conservator lighten up,
just ask them to relate one to you.

Two of my favorites:

A paintings conservator that I knew told me that they'd had this
elderly woman client come in to ask if they could fix her historic
painting (a family portrait from the early 1800's). The conservator
was aghast because the woman handed them literaly shreds of canvas.
They asked what possibly could have happened. The woman told them that
a friend told her that the painting should be cleaned, so she put it
in the washing machine....

I once got a call from a fellow who wanted to know how he could grow
the wood back in his civil war pistol. Being a curious sort, I
innocently asked him what had happened. He had read about electrolytic
reduction in Ivor Noel Hume's Historic Archaeology book, using a lye
solution and a battery charger. Although this was common practice back
in the 1960's with some terrestrial and waterlogged iron artifacts, it
isn't really suited to whole historic objects containing various
metals and wood. Needless to say, I advised him that it would be
impossible to "grow" the wood back, but he had sure taken care of the
rust.

Cheers!
Dave

David Harvey
Conservator
Los Angeles, California

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