>Key Phrases For Use With Office Colleagues (especially museums)
>
>1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.
>2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
>3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
>4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
>5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
>6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
>7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
>8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
>9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
>10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
>11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
>12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
>13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
>14. How about never? Is never good for you?
>15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
>16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
>17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
>18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
>19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
>20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
>21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
>22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
>really quite busy.
>23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
>24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
>25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
>26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the
subject.

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