Dearest young people on the list,

I was once like you - young, talented, full of hope in the world. Then
I turned 30.

Now that I am officially OLD, I'd like to pass along a few things I've
learned over my long years in the hopes that it will make your life a
lot easier.

First of all, the way you dress is a CHOICE. It cannot be equated with
being of a different race or gender. No one can choose their ethnic
background or sex. You can choose to get parts of your body pierced,
tattooed, branded, or modified in  other ways. You can also choose
what to put in those piercings and how to cover the parts of your body
which are illegal to expose in public.

Secondly, people will ALWAYS judge you by how you look. It's not only
human nature but basic biology. Animals have developed elaborate
colorings for the sole purpose of attracting a mate. A blandly colored
peacock without a tail will find himself out of luck come mating
season like a t-shirt wearing, baggy pants stock broker would be
trying to find a job on Wall Street.

In other words, you have right to dress whatever way you choose. The
flip side is that people also have a right say you look like a
freakin' idiot for doing so.

And believe me, I feel your pain. My secret dream is to be a London
fashion rebel with long purple hair, a leather trench, brightly
colored tights, and a pair of boots that would make the members of
KISS bow down at my feet because they are not worthy of such footwear.

Instead, I work in polite society and play Bauhaus in my office so
that no one else can hear. But I've learned to express my inner rebel
by colorful jewelry, funky scarves, quirky blazers found on sale at
boutiques, and lurid handknit socks. Do I wear all these at once?
Heavens NO!! That would make the London fashion rebels run screaming
from me, not to mention make me the butt of bad fashion jokes at the
office. A little excessorizing goes a long way.

Learn what the fashion norms are for your chosen profession and
embrace them. You have so many choices these days and unless you go
into high powered corporate law or politics, you aren't limited to
finely tailored suits of a dark color.

Also remember that only the people who are the very best at what they
do or are so insanely rich they don't need society, can get away with
being outside of the fashion norm. The rest of us are stuck with
business casual and no visible piercings outside of earrings.

Since the dawn of clothing, there has always been some standard of
what people wear. We will never change that, no matter how many
fashion rebels there are. You can choose to stay within that standard
and work with it. You can also choose to go outside that standard, but
don't complain if people start to judge you by it. It was your choice.
There are too many other important things to get upset about in this
world. As much as I love fashion, it isn't one of them. Channel your
energy into being the best museum professional you can be. Once you
are at the top, then you can wear whatever you want. But not a second
before then.

Deb

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