Attention Entomologists: I have analyzed the automobile traffic of PETA
(People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) executives and rank and file
members and using the TCBR coefficient developed by Gena Gulamentum (1987:34)
at Solid State University, I have been forced to the following conclusion:
 
Animal rights protesters murdered between 7 and 8.5 MILLION darkling beetles
on America's highways in 1993 alone. Please do not let mine be the only voice
to cry:
 
            STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!! STOP THE MADNESS NOW!!!!
 
                            Literature Cited
 
Gulamentum, G. 1987. Tenebrionids crushed by radials: the
     TCBR coefficient in practical application. J. Stat. Hijinks
     (Helsinki). pp. 32-39.
 
Thank you.
Richard