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Date: | Fri, 30 Sep 1994 14:33:12 EDT |
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Since it is Friday afternoon and in light of recent posts I thought
I would send along this timesaving "flame" formletter that has
been making the rounds of various lists and newsgroups, to add a
bit of humor to the proceedings. Remember, it's just a joke folks ...
___________________________________________________________________________
Copied material follows:
Considering recent events on ______-l, I thought that using this
standard reply form which has been making the rounds of various
newsgroups might save all of us some time and effort:
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
(c) copyright 1994 by ?
Dear (recipient)
I took exception to your recent post to ______-l.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that: (check all that apply)
___ what you posted has been said before.
___ not only that, it was also done better the last time.
___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of (net.personality).
___ the signoff address is [log in to unmask]
___ your post contained commercial advertising.
THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please remit immediately to:
Usenet News
Network Security & Standards Patrol
(insert your address here)
or your posting privileges will be cancelled.
___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR
PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
___ and it was done clumsily.
___ you have a lame login name.
___ your machine has a stupid name.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines
of text.
___ you quoted an article in followup and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".
___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
___ your .sig is longer than four lines
___ And your newsreader truncated it.
___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
___ you listed __ snail mail address(es).
___ you listed a nine-digit ZIP code.
___ you listed __ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
___ Miserably.
___ you included:
___ a stupid quote
___ a stupid self-quote.
___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
___ a Rush Limbaugh quote.
___ a Dan Quayle joke.
___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead.
___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
___ USS Enterprise
___ (Continent of your choice)
___ Company logo
___ and you stated that you don't speak for
your employer.
Furthermore:
___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of ______-l
___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net.
___ You are a loser.
___ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this
clueless.
___ This has been pointed out to you before.
It is recommended that you:
(Mark all that apply)
___stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up.
___find a volcano and throw yourself in.
___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
___ stop reading ______-l and get a life.
___ stop sending email and get a life.
Have a nice day.
.nl
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